Faltaire’s New Mortar!

As the ‘Brummer’ is wheeled away, its place is taken by a very large mortar, manhandled into place by a large team of sweating gunners…

‘But that is simply enormous!  I’ve never seen a mortar of such a size!’  Exclaims von Rumpfler.
'Indeed, my dear Faltaire, agrees the Burggrave. 'This is quite a whopper!'
‘Ah, well, yes, you see my dear General, operating on  the "tavern wench" principle that bigger is generally better, I worked with Herr Frupp and his considerable knowledge of metallurgy and gun-founding to design simply the biggest mortar ever conceived.  '
Rumpfler peers at the bronze behemoth. 'Surely nothing of this size has been seen in Mittleheim since King Wilhelm last was seen bending over!'
'Even with the use of standard, double milled gunpowder, it should be able to throw a shell over any battlement yet devised’, replies Faltaire.
‘Well, this should be interesting…’ muses the Burggrave.

The gun crew ready the mortar…
‘Make ready!’, ‘Aim!’ ‘Fire!’

As the sergeant puts his linstock to the touch-hole, there is an almighty report in one of the loudest explosions of the eighteenth century…

A vast cloud of gunpowder smoke envelops the dignitaries….

 ‘Well, I say!, (cough, splutter)’,  says the Burggrave, ‘that was simply, (cough) marvellous!’
‘Yes, indeed, sire, (cough) with such a weapon we should be able to raze any town (cough) in the Empire of Grand Fenwick (cough) to rubble!’ von Rumpfler says grimly.
‘I am so (cough) glad you like it, my dear Burggrave!’, exclaims Faltaire.
‘Oh yes, indeed!  (cough) I just hope we haven’t woken the Burggravina….’ worries Burggrave Falco…

Irate (and rather deaf) Burggravina's notwithstanding, Nabstria's new artillery park is quickly manhandled onto barges waiting on the river Queltch. Though the garrison of the Fenwickian citadel of Fort Pippin do not yet know it, their situation is soon to become much less comfortable and a lot louder ...